Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
