we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I need to sanitize my soul.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
