I puked a lego.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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