You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize