I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
