I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
