Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
