well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
