a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
