ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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