Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
