it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
