do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
