Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
