I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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