His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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