we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize