My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
