hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
