Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I enjoy the company of your penis
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
