so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
