Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
