just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My bed smells like the plague
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
