I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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