Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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