drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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