his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
