i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
