how can u be prego again
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
