going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
