Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Drunk is not a location!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
