okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
