eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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