They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
