In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
