We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My feet surprised me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize