Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
