Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
