i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
