she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
