so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
