i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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