Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
