the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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