I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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