Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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