I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize