sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I want a musical about memes.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize