its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
