I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
