i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
