hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
