some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
