I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
