Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
