I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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