I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
