chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
