so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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