Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
