I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
